The Root Determines the Fruit

Have you ever read a book on how to communicate better with your spouse and you continue to fail miserably? Have you ever tried to hold your tongue and you end up saying something you regret? Maybe you have read all the marriage books, gone to a few marriage retreats, and you still you seem to be getting nowhere. I know how frustrating it can be to do what the best marriage experts tell you to do, and yet your marriage is not improving. Amy and I have always encouraged couples to never stop investing in their marriages. In our 38 years of marriage, we have read the best marriage books, attended dozens of marriage seminars, and been mentored by some incredible couples. We highly encourage all the above and continue to invest in our marriage in these ways.

But we have also come to realize that to have the marriage we love, we have to regularly examine what is going on in our heart because the root determines the fruit. We can memorize "5 Top Ways to Communicate With Your Spouse," but if we are harboring resentment in our heart or un-forgiveness, that root of un-forgiveness will ultimately determine the fruit of our communication with our spouse, not the article we read or the counsel we received. The condition of our heart is what we need to tending too regularly to make sure there are no weeds of bitterness, resentment, or hardness from being wounded. Choose to forgive, keep short accounts, release any bitterness, receive healing for damaged emotions through counseling and prayer so the wise, time tested marriage advice you hear and read about takes root in a healthy heart and soul and bears good fruit.

Parenting Books We Love

Raising kids in the 21st Century is not for the faint of heart. As parents, we need all the wisdom we can get and lots of prayer! Amy and I were like sponges when it came to marriage advice and parenting advice. We found marriages and families we admired; couples still in love after decades, and families who were close, and we asked lots of questions. How did you get a marriage like that? A family that loves to be together? Kids who love God and the church? Once we caught the vision we were intentional about creating the marriage and family we wanted. Also, we referred to several books that have been great sources of wisdom as we raised our kids. Below are our favorites:

1. Shepherding a Child's Heart by Paul David Tripp

A real treasure that helps you develop a Godward orientation in the heart of your

child. We didn't want religious kids, we wanted kids who loved God, the Word, and

had a heart of obedience.

2. Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul

David Tripp

Paul David Tripp gives a big picture of parenting and the importance of the gospel

in changing the heart of your child and growing character. "When the gospel takes

root it does what no parenting can do."

3. My First, Second & Third Attempts at Parenting by Steve Murrell

With humor and wisdom, Pastor Steve Murrell, Every Nation Ministries, gives

wise advice on cultivating your child's heart and how to deal with our own heart

as parents.

4. Mama Bear Apologetics: Empowering Your Kids to Challenge Cultural Lies

Hillary Morgan Ferrer

An encouraging book for every parent who is overwhelmed by all the cultural

lies their kids are hearing about. Read this book before your kids are teens. This

book will help you have the confidence to teach your kids to form their own

biblical beliefs about what is true and false.

5. Talking to you kids about Jesus; 30 Conversations that Every Parent Must Have

by Natasha Crain

We all want kids who know and love God but how does that happen. Many parents

don't know how to talk to their kids about God.

The author gives you guidance on how to talk to your children about the existence

of God, science and God, the nature of God, believing in God, and the difference

God can make in their lives.

Great Marriages

“Great marriages don’t happen by luck or by accident. They are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, prayer, mutual respect, and a rock-solid commitment between a husband and a wife.” Dave Willis